Tell Me You Love Me Even If it's a Lie

It’s been a while since i wanted to write something with this title. Was it a week ago? Or.... two weeks ago? I’m not sure either.

I was watching a drama that time, but the soundtrack was strangely make me.... move? No, i don’t think it was. It’s just..... when i heard the song, i was blank. My mind wandered. At first, i didnt know what i was thinking about, but slowly i knew, it’s you again.

How are you? It’s been a while since our last meet, right? Do you even miss me? Because i crazily miss you so damn much. It’s sucks, you know? Missing someone who doesnt even care about your existence now.

Someone once told me that when everything is done, our story also has to come to an end. Seems like he was right, wasn’t he? You’re busy with your own life now. Well, you have to be like that indeed. However the problem is.... i foolishly hope that we can spend our time together, just like weeks ago. I read our old conversation and hoping that we can have random talks again like those nights. How stupid I am.

You know what’s more annoying? I miss you but i dont even have any courage to tell you! Why? Why you should be someone who i cant say “i miss you” to? Why you dont just be like my any other friends so that i can say it casually? Why you should be this kind of person? Why??

Ah, sorry. I dont mean to scold you or something. Everything’s a bit off these days, so....yeah..

It’s raining now..... ah! Do you remember? When i got a cold because i was heavily soaked in the rain the night before, you asked me on the phone: “what happened? are you okay? Should i go there?”, remember? Honestly, I was so happy back then, though i knew that’s just your lame joke.

Could something like that happen again? Now that i’m not sick, and everything already turns out like this, how if saying that you love me? It’s okay if it’s just a joke. Even if it’s a lie, it’s okay. I’ll be happy.